Saturday, May 30, 2009

I Am Struggling

I have a lot going on in my mind right now, struggles in my heart. I guess it's safe to say that I am struggling right now and for some reason I am overwhelmed with my feelings, my thoughts, with reality of those that say things or do things that are hurtful, maybe not intentionally, but hurtful just the same.

I am struggling right now with everyday tasks, my mind running with thoughts of the unknown, running wild with the worries of why and the thoughts of if it were different what would the outcome be. I ran across a saying today, can't remember where I read it, but it said why worry about tomorrow, you did that yesterday. So fitting. I am reminded of the verse in Matthew, "Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matt 6:34, I really need to trust in the Lord and put my worries aside. But I am struggling.

I struggle with wanting to say things to those that have hurt me. I want to say something to those that feel they are right, when in fact, they are wrong, but how do I do that? I want to confront those who actions have hurt ones they claim to love, but is it even right to say anything at all? Again, it is a struggle of the heart, or maybe it is more a struggle of the mind.

Then I struggle with even putting my thoughts into words, putting them here on this blog for the world to see if they so happened to land on this page. Putting them out there to make myself more volunable to those that think I am talking about them. I am struggling.

I know He promises to walk beside me and comfort me along the way, and that brings me great comfort, and still right now I am struggling.

Right now I feel alone when I shouldn't. I count my blessings each day and I know, without a shadow of a doubt I am blessed, but tonight I struggle.

I know there are some out there reading this and they understand where I am right now, they know the struggles and might be struggling right now as well, and right now I pray that they will find peace with their struggles as I will find peace with mine. I will trust in the Lord tonight, with all my heart, knowing that He knows that me seeking His will, He will lead me down that path that is right for me. Even though I am struggling, I know through Him, I will find peace.

For those that read this, I am okay, just struggling. I know tomorrow I will wake up with a renewed strength. I know that there are those out there that will be praying for me and those who are struggling, I am praying for you also.

8 Comments:

Jenny said...

((((((Hugs))))))

sara said...

I think we have all been there at one time or another.

praying for peace and wisdom for you!

H-Mama said...

Yes, (((((((hugs))))))) are in order. I really went through those same emotions a few years ago... very, very hard. Praying...

Darla said...

prayed for you just now... i understand ALOT of what you are feeling. hopefully it means we are normal. hehe. hang in there friend, which i know you are. i would love to even have the courage to write all that i feel, but i never seem to. thanks for expressing my feelings for me :/ love ya!

Jeanette said...

That is one of my favorite verses! I'll be keeping you in my prayers :}

Many hugs!

Miss Behavin said...

I love you Pernice!!

Melissa's Thoughts said...

what is wonderful about strggles is that God can show himself trustworthy. I pray that you see that at this moment. LOVE YOU MY SWEET FRIEND>!!

Meredith said...

Loving you my friend that I had to move all the way from CA to meet!! Sorry for the heavy emotions. While you know God is there for you, it is still hard to get through such emotions... many of your words are thoughts I have had a lot lately as well! Feeling alone.. I am sorry for that feeling.... I too feel this way right now. God is great, yes indeed... but life is still hard no matter how you look at it! Loving you and giving you tons of hugs until I see you to give you more!